O Canada

I am truly enjoying watching the 2010 Olympics. It looks so pretty and white, and the mountains are gorgeous. I guess its a little fantasy in there, as there have already been sad times, starting on the opening day. Last night was all sorts of skiing races, and the women's figure skating.

Oh Joannie, I watched you skate.


I stayed up late just so I could see you skate. I remember every move of the blades, your jumps, your turns, your spirals. I so admire you yet I couldn't help but cry all the way through your gorgeous program.

I don't know how you did it. I can't really imagine how you felt. It looked like when it was all over, your heart just burst and the contents of your heart just spilled out onto the ice.

That's how it still feels for me and it has been 4 months. Its not any easier now than it was the day my mother died. Sometimes it seems my heart gets patched up and I limp along, messing everything up along the way. And I don't realize it. I'm just not here. And then when it gets too much it just bursts again.

Oh, I miss my mother. I miss her presence in my life. She has really been gone a long long time, maybe 7 years, maybe more - its just recently that her body left.

I wish I could ice skate my pain away.



O Canada, glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard, we stand on guard for thee.
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

Ruler Supreme! who hearest humble prayer,
Hold thy Dominion in thy loving care;
Help us to find, Oh God, in thee,
A lasting rich reward.
As waiting for the Better Day,
We ever stand on guard.

O Canada, Glorious and free! Amen